This is my wife - Wo de lao po

How many languages do you speak?   There is the old joke about, what do you call somebody that speaks three languages?  Answer – Trilingual.  What do you call a person that speaks two languages? Answer – Bilingual. And of course, what do you call a person that speaks only one language? Answer – An American!
 
I like to say that I speak four languages. English is my primary language. My second language is sarcasm! I grew up speaking French, and for 10 years I took Chinese Mandarin language lessons. When two of those languages are not fluent you often make mistakes. Sometimes they are just wrong, and sometimes they are funny!
 

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Here’s my story…
 
When I taught at Roosevelt University, and at Harding University, on the first day of the semester, on the first day of every class, I always had a, “Who are you - Who am I?” kind of class.  I had each student stand, tell the class their name, and a little about themselves. I always followed the student reports with a little bit more detailed, and more of a pre-planned, presentation of myself.
 
In January of 2012 I was opening my Chinese Communication Principles class. I had been taking Mandarin language lessons for 3-4 years and I wanted to impress them with my new-found Chinese. I threw up a PowerPoint photo of me and my two sons followed by a beautiful portrait of Donna and me and said, (and was written on the .ppt in Chinese), “Wo Da Lao Po.” When the image and words appeared, the class immediately roared laughing! I didn't know why?
 
One young female named Nicole came up to me and, as she was still laughing at me asked, “Do you know why we were laughing when you were showing the picture of your wife?” “No, I said, please tell me.”
 
“Well, you said, “Wo DA Lao Po, instead of Wo DE Lao Po!” Nicole laughed again as if I heard the difference and knew the difference!
 
She went on to explain and said, “The difference is the word DA. You should have said “Wo DE Lao Po. Not, Wo DA Lao Po!”
 
One is spelled D-E and the other is spelled D-A. Technically they are pronounced slightly different, but to me they sounded the same.  I said it right, but I spelled it wrong. I believe if I would not had it on the projected photo I might have gotten away with this faux pas.  Of course, I then asked what then did I actually say?
 
Nicole explained, “You told us that you had two boys, right?  She continued, “of course, the FIRST born was OLDER than the second son. And the first born usually is BIGGER… In any of those cases the word DA would be used.
 
You should have used the word DE if you wanted to say “My wife,” because the word DE modifies “Wo or I, into my.” But what you said was, “This is my first, big, old wife!
 
Laughing and ensued.

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